Everett Renshaw

In a fit of inspiration, I wrote out a “pitch” for Kubak Outpost, in case I wanted to write a query letter for it. This is what I wrote:

Fen, a man who has lost his love and his livelihood, enlists in the army to fight in the war against magic-wielding kaanfar warriors encroaching on the border. Along the way, he meets The Demon Hunter, who has to drink the blood of his victims to power his own form of magic. Together they must find a way to stop the kaanfar from summoning a powerful ancient foe before the king’s defenses are overwhelmed.

That actually sounds a lot cooler than the draft I wrote. Maybe I should rewrite it to match that summary. (As it happens, I think it needs a rewrite anyway.)

I am sure you have all seen this photo by now.

https://twitter.com/whitehouse/status/269785942326398976/photo/1

I am SO glad that this picture came to light, so I can ask this vitally important question:

WHAT IS THIS EXPRESSION CALLED?? Preferably in a past tense verb form.

The president _____ ed for the photo.

Here is the context in which I would like to use this word.

“I’m really looking forward to Black Friday,” Jack said.

“Me too,” I replied. “I can’t wait to face death at Wal-mart.”

“Yeah! It’s my favorite time of year.”

I _____ ed, trying to keep a straight face. (I am obviously sarcastificating, but Jack doesn’t get it, so I’m going to keep going until he notices, because it is highly amusing to me.) “The pushing and shoving and trampling really gets the blood pumping.”

“You know it. I can’t wait!”

“Not-impressed” is clearly not going to work. “Smirked” is close but I think of that as conveying ill-will, whereas this face is clearly whimsical. “Sneered” is wrong. “Made a face” might work but I usually think of that as a response to something icky. “Blanched” isn’t right for the same reason. “Grinned” is wrong. I like “sarcastificated” but it isn’t a word.

There is also an exasperated variation of this expression, which might deserve a whole different word. The face you would make after you explain to Jack that you were being sarcastic and didn’t really like Black Friday at all, but he still doesn’t get it, so you turn to your other friend and ____.

Yes, I am obsessed with this problem. If I find this word, it will be my greatest achievement in life.

I started out writing Airworld as a sort of light-hearted adventure. Despite a somewhat serious premise (the home town is dying!), I didn’t intend for anyone to get into any real trouble.

But somewhere along the way, things got pretty serious. People are getting their throats cut. People are getting their heads smashed on stone walls. People are getting framed and tortured. People are coming face-to-face with their worst nightmares, and doubting their own convictions, and having to make life-altering decisions.

At the moment I’m sitting at my keyboard wondering what else can go wrong for these poor characters.

Consider this contemporary engraving of a woman by Wenceslaus Hollar,  from around the mid-1700s:

From here, btw.

Sadly, I am a complete moron when it comes to clothing. If I look at that picture, I see a woman wearing an old-timey dress thingy, with a hat thingy on her head. But for some reason, that description wouldn’t go over very well in a published work of fiction. So, what the heck are these things called?

1. I’m calling this a bonnet, whether it is or not.

2. Is this a corsage? Is this a prom? I guess it’s a bow (cloth, not composite), but shouldn’t it have a better name?

3. I’d be tempted to call this a shawl, but it appears to be attached.

4. It sort of looks like a cuff, but there’s probably a more frilly name for this, probably made from the same material as part 3.

5. This is the “dress.” I guess. I would presume this is the basic color of the dress. (Probably black in this Puritan-ish example.)

6. What is this? It’s like a really long bib.

Oh, and I see I forgot to mark the white part between 1 and 2 covering the neck, which is yet another piece. I’ll call that 1.5.

These are the sorts of challenges that prevent people from becoming full-time authors.